


Millip: Different Back Then

by 0fflined



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1619297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0fflined/pseuds/0fflined
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS FOR S3 & S4. <br/>Chp1: Milton is dying, and his life passes through his eyes. <br/>Chp2: Philip sees Milton's ghost, which follows him to his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Milton felt how deep the stabs were, and how quickly his blood ran from his body. He felt cold, and he couldn't see well. He could barely speak out words. All he was able to think about now, was why did Philip stab him? Has he really changed so much from the days before they even met Andrea and Michonne? From the days before this whole thing started? Before the biters?

Milton moved his fingers a bit to know he was still alive. To feel he was alive. But he was going to die. He knew it, Andrea before him knew it, and so did Philip. It was his intention to kill him. Why? Didn't he feel the way he used to feel? Milton sighed deep, silently and with a shivering voice. He couldn't see so well anymore, he barely could see Andrea.

In his head, he asked why. Why, why, why, all over again. He didn't know. No, he didn't want to admit it. He had told Andrea that Philip was still the same man he used to be. Was he? Had he really changed so much? So much that he just didn't care anymore? Care about Milton? Has he lost his mind, his feelings? Has he forgotten, what he meant for Milton? Has he forgotten about the good old days, the days when they used to feel love?

When Milton realized Philip had been sleeping with Andrea, it hurt Milton. Hurt so badly, he felt stabs to his heart. But they didn't hurt as much as the real stabs. Stabs, led by the knife in Philip's hand.

He still couldn't believe he was going to die by Philip's hand. Now, when it was too late, Milton realized he should've seen it coming. He should've stopped Philip, warned him. Tell him he loved him more often. Not to betray him. Nowadays, when Philip had no time to share for Milton more than about work, their relationship was based mostly on loyalty. But Milton cherished that time, those moment he was closest to Philip. They didn't need words so much to show their love to each other, but Milton missed those words from the Governor.

Milton coughed some blood. Andrea spoke to him something, but the man didn't hear her. He couldn't figure out the words, he heard only mumbling. Milton once asked Philip about Andrea, and the fact they were sleeping together. Philip had chuckled.

"It is just to keep her eyes away from things she mustn't see. Just a distraction, Milton", he had said. Milton had been able to bring up a small smile when Philip had placed a soft kiss on his lips. That was the last time he kissed him. He hadn't had sex with Philip since Andrea came. Was he just lusting for a woman? Milton wasn't good enough anymore…? Or was that, because he changed?

Milton was sure he was telling the truth. Was he, or was that a lie as well? He could only guess how long the Governor had been lying. Would it have been better if he had let Andrea shoot him earlier? Would everything have stopped there, would more lives have been saved? He didn't know… He didn't know.

Milton remembered how soft and loving Philip had been, how happy and warm. In the beginning of Woodbury, he and Philip spent more time together. They worked together, had coffee breaks together… They slept together. They made love, they held hands and kissed. Of course this happened only when no one else was watching. He used to think it hurt, when Philip pushed in him. When Philip came out and back in again. It hurt for the few first thrusts, but eventually he got used to it. But not with these stabs. He was still able to feel the pain. His body ached, and so did his heart. Philip broke his heart, and it was not fixable. Not anymore.

Is there a chance Philip would read his notebook? He hoped the man would… He had written things about Philip in there as well… Things, like how much he still loved and cared for him. Maybe Philip would then realize he still cared? Maybe he would feel some, regret? Maybe Philip would remember those days, when he used to tell Milton how much he loved him. Milton breathed in, unable to take another breath. A small tear dropped from his eye, he hoped Philip wouldn't forget about him. He hoped Philip would remember the good old days, and remember how happy they were. He hoped-


	2. Chapter 2

The Governor- no, not anymore… Philip watched how Woodbury burned down. He didn't care, he didn't feel. Philip felt lost and empty and betrayed. He felt like there was nothing for him anymore. He had been abandoned, he had been betrayed and forgotten. If only he had realized how deeply Milton had cared about him, loved him, even if he had killed him. But now, when everything was over, when Philip felt he, and his life was over, he still couldn't get away from the ghosts of the past. As he stood before his old house, feeling how it burned… He could see Milton.

Of course he knew he wasn't there, Philip knew he was dead. But there he was, standing, looking human… He was silent, he didn't move or speak. He just stared, stared at Philip with those tired, disappointed eyes. Milton just stood there, reminding Philip of his mistakes. But it still didn't bring Philip to understand.. To understand what he really did wrong, how he abandoned and forgot Milton and their life together. How Philip lost himself.

Those months which Philip moved on road, he could always see Milton. Milton followed him, even after the destruction of Woodbury. He never moved or talked, he didn't answer when Philip shouted at him, talked to him, and every time when Philip tried to approach him Milton either disappeared or appeared somewhere else, somewhere further. And always, always he watched with those cold, tired, disappointed but somehow longing and sad eyes.

Came the time when Philip, now known as Brian, found other survivors. One time, Meghan approached him and asked him why he looked so sad.

"Because… I see a dead man", Brian answered her as she sat down on his lap.

"One of those things?" she asked, but Brian shook his head.

"No. A ghost. Of a man I used to know. We were friends", he explained as he stroked her hair softly.

"What was his name?" she asked. Brian licked his lips and turned to look around him a bit. They were outside, it was almost night.

"Milton", he answered and faced Meghan for a moment.

"I see him even now", he continued.

"Where?" she asked.

"Behind that tree", Brian answered and pointed at one of the trees further.

"Is he sad?" Meghan asked as she pressed closer to Brian.

"… He is. And he is… disappointed."

"Why?"

"Because… I did.. something… which I could've done differently."

And then, he was dying himself. He, the Governor, he was dying. He had never thought this could've happened so easily. A sword through his chest, ironically, by the woman who he had sworn he'd kill. Philip could barely see anymore, but he managed to see a figure approach him. First, it looked like a woman… Philip narrowed his eyes, and could see it was Lilly. She lifted a gun towards him… Philip knew he was taking in his last breaths. He'd die. But before the woman pulled the trigger, and ended him, Philip was sure he could see Milton holding the gun for a second. But there was something else in his eyes now. But Philip didn't have enough time to figure out what.


End file.
